Oh, navel, let me gaze a while

Ugh. So.

I had a really nice time with The New Guy last night. It's... I'm usually not the one who cares more in any particular relationship, but in this one, there's a serious risk that I might be.

I'm not particularly upset about that part. As long as I go into it eyes open.

I am a little interested in the fact that I can't just let myself go. I had a great time, like a butterflies-shakey-knees-first-kiss-don't-stop good time. And we were supposed to see each other again tonight, but I chickened out and played tired. To be fair, so did he. I am going to NYC for the weekend (in an aside: CAn't BLOODY WAIT) so we won't be able to get together 'til Monday. Now, normally, this would be A-OKay, but in this case, it seems like a really really long time. And I can't tell if I chickened out tonight because I'm afraid, or because I'm so fully attached to the placeholder of a life I've built for myself in lieu of being with someone else, or, I don't even know.

God, I don't even know what I'm doing. I feel like I'm back in high school.

And I'm not even, really, all that upset about it.

~

In more important news, I really enjoyed this week's suits.

Oh, and I had this nightmare

So, I don't know if it's an anxiety dream or what, but:

I was Michelle Bachman's campaign manager and the really really scary part of it was that I was friggin good. I just kept hoping she wouldn't take my advice because helping her goes against everything I believe in, but so does intentionally screwing up at work and, and...

Thank god it was just a dream.

Um. Am I the only who thinks about conservative politics in her sleep?